Low self esteem isn't something that people are simply born with. People build up insecurities along the way due to various circumstances. From being called names as a kid to being shamed as a teenager; there’s usually a trail of events leading back to their sense of low self-worth. Later, having multiple failed relationships as a grownup doesn't help much either for it only fuels their insecurities.
While most others often tend to dismiss people with low self esteem by claiming they have issues (followed with the most casual shrug of shoulders) before changing the subject, it is essential to realize that it’s a real thing. Yes, they have issues and those issues need to be dealt with rather than being dismissed. Especially if this is a friend or partner you're dealing with. Hence, we've put together a few ways of dealing with people with low self esteem because, friend or acquaintance, everyone deserves kindness.
- Uplift and motivate them
- Be open and accepting
- Avoid constant validation
- Be genuine and real
- Turn downfalls into lessons
Uplift and motivate them
They probably didn’t receive enough motivation and upliftment while growing up as kid, or after having moved to a new place with no friends and family. Maslow explained it to us with his hierarchy of needs just how important esteem was, and people with low self esteem only reinstate it. They need to be felt desired and motivated to go out there and slay.
Be open and accepting
One of the biggest fears that people with low self esteem face is the fear of being unaccepted. Their ideas and visions may not always be in sync with others and standing out too often could eventually lead to self-doubt. This is where it’s necessary to make them realize that it’s okay to be different and more importantly, be open and accepting to their ways of doing things. For they may bear fruits too, someday.
Avoid constant validation
Just like you reach out to a friend when feeling low in order to feel better, people with low self esteem do the exact same—expect a lot more frequently. They tend to feed off of compliments and Likes on social media (we’d spoken about myths to not fall for here) to validate themselves. This tends to blind them such that they forget to love themselves—which is the single most important thing they ought to learn. So lay low there and let them do it themselves.
Be genuine and real
Yes, you mean well when you shower them with compliments to boost their ego but what good are they if you’re only just saying them and don’t mean them? They can sense it, and it’ll only backfire because they trusted you to be real with them. Not only this, making things up just to make them feel better about themselves will drop their sense of self worth lower. Abstain!
Turn downfalls into lessons
More often than not, people tend to take downfalls too hard upon themselves instead of taking lessons out of them. This is why it’s absolutely imperative to not measure one’s self esteem based on their success. Success is meant to add to esteem, not define it. So the next time they have a downer, be quick to not let them let it define themselves and turn the downfall into a learning lesson.
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Written by Shreya Contractor on 27th Jun 2017